JemzyfuL

Ask Me シ   Randomness of my thoughts..... I’m introvert, have a difficulty in expressing myself, always daydreaming, and weird. I’m a Book-lover and my favorites are the books that made into movies. I like Manga and Anime especially the comedy-fantasy-romance or the comedy-drama-romance genre. I also like watching Korean dramas (stay awake all night just to finish one). I love the 2pm, 2am, Miss A and the JYP Entertainment. . I’m also a pet-lover. I have 5 cats and 2 dogs. Taking care of them made me forget a stressful event and looking at them made me feel relieved. Sometimes I write poems when I’m bored. I love the rain (I like watching it pours down) It made me calm. “Who I am... in the eyes that see my sin, would look on me with love and watch me rise again.”

http://friendly.ph/Azalea/


twitter.com/gjemzy:

    Moving On

    Now I decided,

    I will try to ignore

    I will try to move on

    Maybe it was all there is to it

    Maybe this is the end

    For my hope,

    For my dream,

    To finally have a happy ending with you

    Our journey ends here.

    ——————————————————————————

    *an excerpt from = “answer to a birthday letter received 8 years ago”

    — 1 week ago
    Disappointed

    Since High school disappointed ako sa kanya.

    Disappointed ako kasi pinili niyang paniwalaan yung mga bagay na nakikita niya nuon highschool, kesa itanong sa akin kung bakit, paano at ano ang totoo.

    At yung hindi ko matanggap ay yung sinabi niya na: “Galit kasi yan sa mas maganda sa kanya!”

    Grabehan, ganun yung attitude ko kasi nabu-bully ako. Galit ako kasi nabu-bully ako ng patago and I was fighting back openly kaya nagfire-back sakin at ako yung lumabas na masama.

    Disappointed ako kasi mag-best friend kami pero nasabi niya yun without asking me kung bakit at ano ba talaga yung totoo. Naiwan ako. HIndi ko man lang naipagtanggol ang sarili ko.

    Disappointed ako dahil naniwala siya sa kubng ano yung nakikita niya sakin nung highschool. Inisip na niya agad at pinabayaan ako kaya No Choice ako.

    Nanatili ako sa isang sitwasyon at relasyon na sobrang ikinalito ko pero walang choice kasi walang ibang kakampi kundi iyon at walang ibang poprotekta sakin kundi iyon.

    Hindi ako galit  kasi hindi ko naman magawang magalit sa kanya, disappointed lang talaga.

    — 1 week ago
    Sa langit

    Paano kaya mapapansin
    Pag-ibig kong itong lagin bitin
    Panay sulyap, puro tingin
    Hindi na talaga lilingunin


    Lagi na lang nasasaktan
    Puso kong itong nagdurusa
    Lagin pinipilit
    Pag-ibig ko sa’yo ay dinggin


    Hihintayin na lang kita sa langit
    Marahil doon puro pag-ibig
    Siguro naman ako ay pansin
    Pagbibigyan sa aking mga hiling


    Paano kaya mararamdaman
    Pag-ibig mong aking asam
    Marahil nga doon na lang sa langit


    Lagi na lang kitang nakikita
    Tila ba isang madilim na ulap
    Walang kasinag-sinag
    Para sa aking pag-asa


    Ako ay may kaba, ako ay nag-aalala
    Kung tayo ba ay magkikita sa langit
    Doon sa langit, sana sa langit


    Ang tanging pag-asa ko na lang ay langit…

    — 1 week ago
    #sa langit  #moonstar88 
    Broken Memories

    Naalala ko nung nagkita kami sa may Bulanghaguis (kung anu mang spelling nun), Nag-aabang sila ng friend niya ng jeep papuntang P.U.P samantalang nag-aabang naman ako ng bus papuntang Balanga. Pareho kaming papasok nun. Kinausap ko siya pero sobrang stiff nung expression niya or nung reaction niya sakin. Parang ayaw niya kong kausap or ayaw niya kong makita. Kinuha ko yung number niya pero parang napilitan lang siyang ibigay. Hindi ko na lang ganong pinansin yung mga reaction niya kasi bestfriend ko siya.

    Then naalala ko yung mga text niya na parang laging nagpapaalam or laging nagpapahiwatig na may girlfriend na siya.

    At yung huling tumawag siya at nagsabi ako ng problems sa kanya. Ang sabi niya lang;

    "Kawawa ka naman"

    Grabehan.

    Parang strangers lang sa isa’t isa. 

    — 1 week ago
    #best friends 
    the one that got away (a little arrangements in the lyrics)

    I wish money can buy me a time machine

    Can’t replace you with any man can brings

    I should have told you what you meant to me

    Because now I pay the price

    In another life,

    I would be your girl

    We’d keep all our promises

    Be us against the world

    In another life,

    I would make you stay

    So I don’t have to say

    You were the one that got away

    the one that got away..

    — 1 week ago
    Answer to a birthday letter received 8 years ago (wrong grammar)

    ———start————-

    I realized it before,

    But I wonder.

    I realized it before,

    But I was doubtful.

    I realized it before,

    But I was afraid.

    I realized it before, before things became complicated.

    —————end————-

    I wish I wasn’t that eager to be in.

    I wish I wasn’t that eager to have a circle of friends

    I wish I didn’t listened to “some” friends

    Who pushed me to have a boyfriend

    That boyfriend was suicidal,

    And everyone at school was watching us.

    I always put on a show

    So I would never be bullied

    Especially by the teachers who always had their eyes on us

    I was afraid to break free

    Everyone was watching me.

    And the “boyfriend” was always on self-destruct

    And everyone was blaming me.

    Including you

    —————end————-

    I wish you knew how I felt

    I wish you decided to understand me rather the situation showed in front of you.

    —————end————-

    My birthday came

    You gave me a card and a letter

    Carrying the words

    “I love you best friend”.

    I wanted to cry

    I wanted to say ‘yes’

    I wanted to say “I love you too”.

    But I had my doubts

    On what it clearly means

    If you loved me as a friend

    Or you finally saw me as a girl

    I wish I asked you

    I wish I wasn’t overcome by doubt

    I wish I wasn’t shy

    I wish I wasn’t afraid

    I wish I clarified

     I wish things were not that complicated.

    And, I wish you told me personally.

    —————end————-

    After so many years,

    Things were getting more and more complicated

    And I couldn’t get away

    Somebody was suicidal

    And I was afraid to be blamed.

    We lost our communication

    And lies were thrown everywhere.

    —————end————-

    After so many years,

    I received a text from you

    A quote which stated,

    “kung paano ang pagmamahal noon,

    Hindi na yun ganun ngayon.”

    You finally moved on.

    I couldn’t blame you.

    —————end————-

    After a year,

    I was free,

    I finally found the courage to break free

    I finally understood that whatever happens it will never be my fault.

    Then I receive another text from you,

    It was accidentally sent to me

    A text for someone

    That seemed special to you.

    Now I decided,

    I will try to ignore

    I will try to move on

    Maybe it was all there is to it

    Maybe this is the end

    For my hope,

    For my dream,

    To finally have a happy ending with you

    Our journey ends here.

    —————fin————-

    — 1 month ago
    #best friend  #answer to a letter  #story/poem  #too late  #move on